In this culture, this community, and this time period, most of us
possess the essential ingredients for sufficient lives: roofs over our
heads, paychecks to cover the bills, vehicles to drive, the necessities of
life. Yet despite these advantages, many still yearn for comforts,
companionship, intimate contact they haven't achieved and thus turn
to professional accomplishments, family, spirituality, or other sources
of hope. For nearly 30 years now, I have practiced mental health
counseling and marriage and family therapy. Through my professional
work with couples and insights gained from my clients, I have
discovered significant steps necessary for the journey of self-
actualization and the creation of relationship solutions: 
First, if people chose to live authentic lives, I would gladly shut
the doors of my practice. Most people, however, do not live authentic
lives; and by this I mean, that most of our efforts are spent in
accommodating others, behaving the way we think others need or
want us to behave. By facing our "shadow" side and sharing our true selves with others, we could minimize much confusion, conflict, and
inter-personal pain. Sharing our true selves may be initially
uncomfortable, but the result of living authentic lives, significantly
reduces anxiety and depression. Authenticity does not authorize
selfishness; authenticity calls for honoring our true selves.
Secondly, most couples make the serious error of waiting too
long to enter marriage counseling. One of the MOST important
relationships in one's life requires attention, nurturance,
adjustment and care. The "in love" feeling only carries a couple so
far.
By passively waiting for stress to dissolve; hoping for problems to
disappear; ignoring issues in hopes they'll go away; or arguing to
instigate change or to prove points, couples allow minor irritants to
grow into deep, hurtful and sometimes un-healable wounds. Often "too much damage has occurred" by the time such couples arrive at
my office, and their relationship prognosis is guarded. A fitting
metaphor for relationship solutions appears below:
If you fail to change the oil in your car for the first
50,000 miles, but thereafter change it every 2,000
miles, the damage is already done. The engine will not
last very long.
Ultimately, my clients have taught me they need direct guidance,
practical suggestions, clear communication, objective interpretation,
personal reminders and new techniques in handling the stressful
demands in trying to balance professional and personal obligations.
So many couples seem to "get it" while in the midst of a therapy
session, but once they return to work the following week, daily
demands take precedence.
The Relationship Solutions Program focuses on the positive, provides
constructive intervention and protects the tender aspects of a
relationship. By utilizing personality assessment instruments, written
assignments, brief readings, movies, frequent emails/phone calls and
other methods I have developed over the years, the program ensures
clear, open communications so both partners can achieve, enjoy and
maintain the relationship they desire.
I look forward to working with you and your partner. By having a few
face-to-face sessions and other time-saving contacts, I can provide the
necessary recommendations to transform your "good" relationship to
the level of "WORLD CLASS." For richer relationships invest in your
spouse, yourself and your family today. |
