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In this culture, this community, and this time period, most of us possess the essential ingredients for sufficient lives: roofs over our heads, paychecks to cover the bills, vehicles to drive, the necessities of life. Yet despite these advantages, many still yearn for comforts, companionship, intimate contact they haven't achieved and thus turn to professional accomplishments, family, spirituality, or other sources of hope. For nearly 30 years now, I have practiced mental health counseling and marriage and family therapy. Through my professional work with couples and insights gained from my clients, I have discovered significant steps necessary for the journey of self- actualization and the creation of relationship solutions:

First, if people chose to live authentic lives, I would gladly shut the doors of my practice. Most people, however, do not live authentic lives; and by this I mean, that most of our efforts are spent in accommodating others, behaving the way we think others need or want us to behave. By facing our "shadow" side and sharing our true selves with others, we could minimize much confusion, conflict, and inter-personal pain. Sharing our true selves may be initially uncomfortable, but the result of living authentic lives, significantly reduces anxiety and depression. Authenticity does not authorize selfishness; authenticity calls for honoring our true selves.

Secondly, most couples make the serious error of waiting too long to enter marriage counseling. One of the MOST important relationships in one's life requires attention, nurturance, adjustment and care. The "in love" feeling only carries a couple so far.

By passively waiting for stress to dissolve; hoping for problems to disappear; ignoring issues in hopes they'll go away; or arguing to instigate change or to prove points, couples allow minor irritants to grow into deep, hurtful and sometimes un-healable wounds. Often "too much damage has occurred" by the time such couples arrive at my office, and their relationship prognosis is guarded. A fitting metaphor for relationship solutions appears below:

If you fail to change the oil in your car for the first
50,000 miles, but thereafter change it every 2,000
miles, the damage is already done. The engine will not
last very long.

Ultimately, my clients have taught me they need direct guidance, practical suggestions, clear communication, objective interpretation, personal reminders and new techniques in handling the stressful demands in trying to balance professional and personal obligations. So many couples seem to "get it" while in the midst of a therapy session, but once they return to work the following week, daily demands take precedence.

The Relationship Solutions Program focuses on the positive, provides constructive intervention and protects the tender aspects of a relationship. By utilizing personality assessment instruments, written assignments, brief readings, movies, frequent emails/phone calls and other methods I have developed over the years, the program ensures clear, open communications so both partners can achieve, enjoy and maintain the relationship they desire.

I look forward to working with you and your partner. By having a few face-to-face sessions and other time-saving contacts, I can provide the necessary recommendations to transform your "good" relationship to the level of "WORLD CLASS." For richer relationships invest in your spouse, yourself and your family today.